I am not a mermaid.

I just wanted to post this to clear up some confusion that some of you might have had.  I am not a mermaid, and I could never be a mermaid.  Here are a few reasons why.

First of all, I cannot hold my breath for very long at all.  This would make it impossible for me to attend all of the deep-sea mermaid galas that happen, I assume every day.

Right before he pounced at the camera...

Secondly, I do not look good wet.  As soon as I hit the water, my makeup runs and my hair turns into a ratty snarly mess that clings to my face making my big head look even bigger.  I would constantly have to be borrowing dinglehoppers to get my hair untangled, it wouldn't be pretty.

I love his little baby face.

Being a mermaid would also make it impossible for me to be a crazy cat lady, which I am.  Featured in the photos to the left and right, you will see my one true love, Einstein the cat.  Einstein was a stray that I adopted just over a year ago when he was just a little kitten.  When I adopted him, he was so utterly covered in fleas that it took 5 hours to get rid of them all.  He was too little to give flea medicine so we had to bathe him and pick each individual flea off of his little baby body.  When he hit the water he turned pink from all the blood and scabs that he had from the flea bites.  He was the most pathetic little munchkin and when we were finally done washing him and cleaning him, all we saw were this HUGE ears and fluff.  He looked like a moistened Albert Einstein, and thus he has been named.  

Right after his flea bath on
the day I adopted him.

Anyway, if I were a mermaid, I couldn't have my cats!  Einstein hasn't hit the water since his original flea-bath and I'm not entirely sure that he wouldn't try to gnaw on my fishy fins.

Lastly, I don't feel like I'm as glamorous as the mermaids I see.  I usually try to look pulled together and fancy but I end up all over the place.  My 'mermaid nails' are a tribute to this side of my "If I Were A Mermaid-ness".  My base is Essie's Bobbing for Baubles, one of my absolute favorite blue colors that I own.  I feathered Zoya FeiFei on the tips giving it a blue semi-holographic shine and then sponged some Essie Shine of the Times, Sephora by OPI The Golden Age and Sally Hansen Green Tea on them for accents.  I used a So Easy Stripe Rite (gold) to do my mermaid scales and filled some in with my gold glitter.   I really enjoyed these nails because they were very mermaid scaley, yet they weren't the typical mermaid nail. They're like a mix between mermaid and firework nails!

So in conclusion, although I may not be a mermaid, I do have mermaids nails.

Sincerely